Easing Fears

Trailer Loading Success in Under 2 Minutes

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Riley came to me for training as a 2-year old with the goal of helping him overcome his many fear issues. One of his biggest hurdles was trailer loading and this still plagues him 13 years later. We trailer out a few times a month and he always loads, but with varying levels of anxiety. Over the last 6 weeks I have used a Horse Speak® routine that has had amazing, lasting effects. This routine takes less than two minutes and has a calming, grounding, centering effect on both the horse and the human.  

The sequence I use was discovered during a filming session for the 2020 Horse Speak® Buttons Webinar Series at my farm. (visithttps://horse-speak.teachable.com/)  One aspect of our work involved combining a “Hold Hand” and a breath on two Buttons simultaneously. With Riley standing at liberty in the barn aisle Sharon instructed me to place a soft, open palm on Riley’s Follow Me Button and the other one on the Bridge of the Nose Button. I held for one breath, released, and paused, repeating it three times. After a short set of three I stepped away and relaxed. When I stepped back Riley took a sideways step towards me, saying “Do it again.” I did as he requested, repeating the series multiple times. Previously, he had been nudgy and restless. After each sequence he became calmer and calmer, softening his eyes, deepening his breathing and lowering his head.   

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An Easy Way to Create Feelings of Safety & Security For Your Horse

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What would make a horse seek out an object to stand near? The answer is easier to understand than you think, because we are not that different. If you were alone and sleeping outside would you choose to sleep near something or out in an large open space? What feelings would both scenarios evoke?

I’m guessing that like horses, most of us would choose to sleep near a tree, an outcropping of ledge, a large rock, etc. Like us, horses inherently know that being out in the open leaves us vulnerable. There is safety in numbers, but if that isn’t possible a “Safety Object” can do the trick.


Observe your horses at rest and notice the surrounding environment. Are they near other horses? Are their butts towards a shelter, tree, a post or the fence line? This gives us the answer to their preferences.

Horse Speak® founder Sharon Wilsie has coined the phrase, “Safety Object” and taught us how to replicate the feeling of safety for the horses we keep on our farms or travel abroad with.

It’s as easy as this:

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Magic Happened in the Mountains of Wyoming

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Some of the most magical, heart centered experiences of my annual Wyoming Retreats come from our evenings spent up on “the bench” with the big herd. The bench is where approximately 140 horses spend the night grazing, eating hay, wandering about and just “being”. This flat open plain is surrounded by mountains where one can simultaneously watch the sunset in the west and the moon rise in the east. It is a magical place to meditate, observe horse behavior and immerse yourself into their world.

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Offering a BLM Mustang Something New

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Fiddle at the end of our session………

Last winter in Florida I was asked by friend, student and Yoga teacher Melissa to do a session with her horse. Fiddle was a BLM Mustang that was captured as a three-year-old stallion, gelded and adopted out three times, only to be returned three times. This earned him the title of a “Three-Striker”. Not a good place for a horse to be. Melissa was planning on adopting a different horse but then noticed Fiddle. She watched him canter across a field and felt him canter straight into her heart.

Fast forward three years to last winter. Melissa had made some very good progress with Fiddle using Natural Horsemanship and Positive Reinforcement training techniques that she had learned. She hired a few different trainers to help her problem solve and start him under saddle. However, there were still some issues that needed resolving. Fiddle could become very fearful and skittish in the ring. At other times he would just take charge of the ride and give Melissa a very hard time.

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Bringing Leadership Qualities in 4 Sessions!

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These photos represent where we finished on our fourth session with Vaka. Our goal was to achieve relaxation under saddle. Check!

A few weeks ago Vaka’s owner Tahnit contacted me about helping her develop more meaningful, trusting relationships with her two Icelandic horses. In our first session we focused on creating a safe, peaceful environment within the 4-horse herd and on helping Tahnit become all that her horses needed her to be. Vaka is the lead mare and Galen, her gelding, is at the bottom of the pecking order. In the paddock we practiced being centered, grounded, aware and clear in all that we did. The horses took note of our calm, effective leadership as that is of high value to them. We created meaningful conversations about space and who moves who, keeping the energy as low as possible.

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